**Article written by Prairie Spectrum parent contributor (and site partner) Kathleen**
One Friday mid-morning this past June, I got a call from my son’s school; he was running a fever and I needed to pick him up. I won’t bore you with too many details, but the basic recap is that we spent the entire weekend nursing his fever that never went away and by the following Wednesday, we’d been back and forth to children’s ER three times for three rounds of antibiotics, two sedations and one catheter.
As you can imagine, we were all exhausted. My son felt absolutely terrible, his dad and I were emotionally spent and, on top of all of this, I was battling a sinus infection and bronchitis. The icing on the cake? My one year old was teething and therefore cranky all. The. Time. EVERYTHING was rough at this point; the crap had hit the fan.
Stress is a natural part of life. It affects us all and, if we’re lucky, an adult beverage of some type and a hot bubble bath can fix it. But what happens when everything goes wrong, all at the same time, and you feel like you’re drowning? Like when your car breaks down and needs an expensive repair, your youngest isn’t sleeping well at night (which means you don’t sleep well), your special needs kiddo is back to poop smearing and aggressive behavior, your husband is working long, hard hours, and you’re battling a mom cold? Yeah, I’ve been there.
Nothing goes right all the time for anyone, and sometimes, multiple issues hit us at once. We can feel like we’re barely treading water and, in our heads, we’re screaming “what do I do?!” I don’t have all the answers (sorry!) but I do have two steps that work for me when all hell breaks loose.
- Adjust your attitude.
- First and foremost, this too shall pass! Your struggle will not kill you and you will move on! Soon enough, you’ll look back and be super thankful that you made it past that awful time that shall no longer be talked about.
- Second, compared to all the good things that have happened in your life, and all the good things that are yet to come, this time will probably feel like a drop in the bucket in comparison. Think about it a little bit. You’re having a rough few days, possibly a rough few weeks, but good stuff is in your future! After all, when you’ve hit rock bottom, the only place to look is up.
- If the positive thoughts above don’t help, take a laughter break. One of the good things about living in this technological age is that funny stuff is at our fingertips. Go on YouTube and search for scared cat videos. Open up Netflix and watch that comedy you’ve been eyeing. Search the humor category on Pinterest. Laughter is indeed the best medicine sometimes.
- Adjust your life.
- Relax more. At night, go to sleep as soon as your kids are down. While your kids are napping, snooze a bit on the couch. However, don’t force yourself to try to sleep. After I gave birth to my daughter, I struggled with postpartum anxiety due to my hormones and a long, exhausting week in the hospital. It got so bad at one point that I called Winnipeg’s mental health crisis hotline. An awesome lady came out to see me at my house and gave me great advice regarding sleep: if you can’t sleep, don’t. Forcing yourself to try to sleep adds to your stress. Sit back and read a book or watch a movie. Focus on simply giving yourself a break, not catching extra zzz’s.
- Cut back on your chores. Get your groceries delivered, and the same goes for dinner. Don’t worry about having a sparkling kitchen when a few clean dishes will do for the time being. If you have enough clothes for yourself and your family for the next few days, laundry can wait. Doing the bare minimum is perfectly acceptable when you’re struggling. Take care of your family and yourself first; a dirty house will wait for you. Better yet, if it’s possible, look into temporary maid service until your life calms down a bit.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff (aka: prioritize). What has to be done right now? Do what’s vital right away, like taking a shower. What can wait a few days? Plan to handle those tasks by the following week. You really don’t have to shave your legs ASAP; being clean is enough for now. It might help you to sit down and write out a plan for yourself, checking things off as you go. Having tasks clearly outlined helps reduce a lot of my own personal stress. It also helps me realize that a lot of the things that I’m worrying about are actually not a huge deal and therefore not worthy of my time when I’m stressed to the max. It might also make you giggle to read “wax my eyebrows” on your to-do list. Refer to my earlier advice regarding laughter.
- If things get really tough, call in reinforcements. Grandparents, your siblings, good friends, your respite worker (if you have one)…call whoever you can to ask for help. You’d be surprised who is ready and willing to step up to the plate if you only reach out.
If you’re reading this article, chances are you’re also dealing with a steaming pile of crap right now. Please know that you aren’t alone. Everyone, and I mean everyone (whether they admit it or not), goes through a time when they want to pull their hair out, fall to the floor and quit. Maybe that solidarity will provide peace in the midst of your storm. If it doesn’t, maybe my parent-to-parent tips might do the trick. If you have some tricks of your own, I’d love to hear from you! Take care and always remember: this too shall pass!